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Having empathy for ourselves – respecting our own pace

  I saw this on Twitter today (thanks to Elisha Goldstein), and couldn’t resist putting it on the blog (a much-needed bit of optimism in a world dominated by pessimism), since it seems to fit so well with where I am in my head – we all struggle to move forwards, and need encouragement to […]

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Reaching out to others…..

  As I said at the end of my last post, it is my firm belief that connection to others is the single most important issue in most peoples’ lives – this should come as no surprise if we remember that it is very often because of problems in our relationships with those closest to […]

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Shame, implicit memory and Cortisol

Firstly, I want to thank my son for fixing the ‘shame’ logo above – I am now having it made into cards, but will keep my original hand-drawn, wonky one on the blog because it is where I started. I have just listened again to Daniela Sieff’s brilliant talk about trauma – I went to the […]

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Babies, epigenetics, the ACE study and core shame

As I write this blog, I allow myself to go wherever my instincts take me, so that when I get a feeling that I want to pursue a particular line of enquiry, I just do it, which, as those of you who have followed me for a while will know, has led me to wander […]

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The need for firm foundations – more self-compassion

I went to a beautifully eloquent lecture on trauma the other day by Daniela Sieff, at the RSA who has written an informative and accessible book about it – Understanding and Healing Emotional Trauma. Listening to Daniela made me realise that I need to slow down – there’s no point in rushing ahead unless you have the […]

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Who am I – peering behind the mask

The Search for the True Self – a word of caution Yes, as Rumi says, your face is absolutely glorious, but I suggest that you proceed with extreme caution – perhaps rather than tearing off the mask, you need to lift it carefully at one corner and peer gently underneath, in private (at first), although […]

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Forgive yourself – it’s not your fault – then look for resources

This has just arrived on Twitter, and I’m thinking about it as I work on this post………I believe that everything I write is ‘true’, I think that it’s ‘necessary’, and I sincerely hope that it’s ‘kind’. Forgiving yourself For those of you who have lived with core shame all your life, and who have developed […]

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Be kind to yourself – a plea for self-compassion

Before we go any further, I want to make a plea for self-compassion – I want you to start to be kind to yourself – because I was reminded once again, when I read the pieces about the Labour MP for Rochdale, Sarah Champion, by Damian Whitworth in The Times on Saturday 21st February, of how hard it […]

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Core shame and the False Self

What happens when we lose our connection to our True Self? Winnicott‘s answer to this was that in order to survive, and to protect our True Self, we create what he called a ‘False Self’ – a term that has become widely used in the years since he coined it. We grow up realising that […]

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The true self – the heart of the matter

Having wandered off in the direction of looking at how core shame affects our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, I felt that I needed to come back to its roots, and the importance of the True Self – the ‘me’ that is truly us – since if (as I hope), I can work towards finding a […]

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