Archive | February, 2015

Be kind to yourself – a plea for self-compassion

Before we go any further, I want to make a plea for self-compassion – I want you to start to be kind to yourself – because I was reminded once again, when I read the pieces about the Labour MP for Rochdale, Sarah Champion, by Damian Whitworth in The Times on Saturday 21st February, of how hard it […]

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Core shame and the False Self

What happens when we lose our connection to our True Self? Winnicott‘s answer to this was that in order to survive, and to protect our True Self, we create what he called a ‘False Self’ – a term that has become widely used in the years since he coined it. We grow up realising that […]

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The true self – the heart of the matter

Having wandered off in the direction of looking at how core shame affects our thoughts, feelings and behaviour, I felt that I needed to come back to its roots, and the importance of the True Self – the ‘me’ that is truly us – since if (as I hope), I can work towards finding a […]

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Addiction and shame

The Wonders of the Internet As I was thinking out loud about my next post, my friend Sophie found this beautiful drawing on Tumblr, and drew it to my attention (huge thanks to Soph!). We quickly managed to trace ‘X. Lan’ – I think she is Vietnamese – and sent her a Facebook message asking […]

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Avoiding the pain……..

As promised at the end of my last post, I’ve been thinking about the way in which core shame affects us – what is the defining feature of our behaviour? Core shame is what Diana Fosha in her excellent book on emotions (The Transforming Power of Affect) calls an ‘aversive’ emotion – heat can be aversive […]

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When it’s not ok to be me

Self-compassion reminder I am aware that I spent a lot of time in my last post talking about things that can go wrong, but I wanted to prompt everyone who feels that they may be weighed down by core shame to think about the circumstances in which they came into the world, so as to […]

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